Double Ds

[from Act 2, Scene 2, Nonny in the Sky with Love]
[CLARICE is a young Nurse's Aid hanging on to her job by a bra strap.]


NONNY
You have big breasts; he likes breasts. Of course he likes you.

CLARICE
Nice, aren't they? They aren't real, but what the hell!

It doesn't matter if they're real,
all that matters is how they feel,
and that what you got affects
persons of the the opposite sex.

Your sex appeal definitely triples
with cantelopes underneath those nipples!
So what if they're as phony as all get out?
That's not what it's all about.

I'm talking about boob-appeal!
Give 'em something they can squeeze.
Boob appeal! Guaranteed to please!
Bubblicious bowls of peaches and cream.
Every old horndog's dream!
Great big beautiful bouncing double Ds.

Some guys go for legs or thighs.
OK. Some guys go for brains.
Some guys go for big blue eyes,
or Harleys or electric trains.

But you don't even have to be too pretty;
a knockout pair of gorgeous titties
is catnip for seven guys out of ten.
If the rest want sticks, or smarts, or men...
Who cares!

It's all about boob-appeal!
Give 'em something they can squeeze.
Boob appeal! Guaranteed to please!
Bubblicious bowls of peaches and cream.
Every old every horndog's dream!
Great big beautiful bouncing double Ds.

NONNY
You're barking up the right tree.

CLARICE
The Colonel...

NONNY nods.

CLARICE
S-w-e-e-e-e-t!! OK honey. Gotta run. You made my day!